You're Going to Miss This....

Ok So I'm not the best at keeping this thing up to date, so a quick look over the past month. I've done school and Work. I went down to Scottsdale to the Arabian show and worked for Thiago Sobral who was really nice and allot of fun to work with. If anyone is looking for a reiner trainer just call me and i'll get his number for you.

Since then I've just been here working on school and work. Last week I went on two dates The first one was with Alden who is my FHE brother and one of my best friends up here! We went to a Orchestra Concert together which really isn't my think but it was fun to be there with him.

The second date was another guy from my ward. This Date I blame on Seth and Dallas! Okay so we where sitting there making plans for the night last Friday. When a kid named Brett asked me if i wanted to go on a date with him. caught off guard and because I generally give guys one chance I said yes. The date really wasn't that bad we went and saw Madagascar 2 and then went and got some Thai food. Then when we got back to the apartments it was only like 10 or so and he asked if I would watch another movie with him. I didn't really want to but I said yes. So we watched Big Jake which is a John Wayne movie (my dad would be proud). And pretty much he decided he wanted to cuddle which was pretty much yuck. So anyways Sunday he came up to me and said sorry. Then on Monday he came over to my apartment twice looking for me thankfully I was gone both times. Then on Tuesday I was gone all day so I don't know if he came by looking for me but he tried my cell phone twice but I didn't answer either time because I recognized the area code (his number wasn't in my phone). So that's pretty much where it stands right now. I'm not going to be home today until this afternoon and I might go straight over to the boys and chill there all night. But I'm going to tell him next time I see him that I'm not really interested in him. I might even go see if he is home when I get home to tell him so I don't have to keep worrying about it.

Last weekend I stayed in Provo which is about the second time I've done that this semester. I was really bored Saturday morning because I was all by my lonesome Leslee was in SLC and Carrie was on a date with Seth and Alden which is pretty much kinda the only people I hang out with so yeah I didn't like being there. Then in the afternoon I went and hung out with Dallas we went and played soccer. Then him, Hudson, and I hung out all that night it really was pretty fun!

The boys have been talking about where they are going to live next year and its gotten me think about how we are half way through this semester and after the semester is over that's probably it I will probably never really see these people again which really makes me sad :( because I know that I am going to miss it. I've been gone allot this semester but still these guys are a huge part of my life right now and it's going to be weird to not hang out with them every night.

But time moves forward, Friends come and go. Sometimes you lose touch sometimes you don't but at least for me I know I forget how important people where to me. I have a friend named shaylee we are pretty close we trust eachother and such. And I think at one point she was a big part of my life but I'm not really sure and right now we probably only talk once every few months. Leslee said she could see us being really close friends forever the type that hang out together everyday but I'm not so sure.

Sorry that one wasn't as physiological as I had wanted it to be I kinda got off on tangents but its almost two am now so i'm going to go to bed.

American Idol...

So I have never been a huge fan of American Idol. Lets face it I'm more of a movie type of person rather then a TV show person. I have watched it in the past but really only the auditions just because I like to laugh at all the silly people who think they can sing. So my sister is planing on watching it tonight, and invited one of our friends named Alden to watch it with us. His response to this was doesn't the bible say something about Idols. As I was sitting here attempting to do home work I mulled this statement over and he is right. To many people take American Idol way to seriously. You may even go as far as to say that people "worship" American Idol. just some food for thought because i don't want to do homework

Countdown

Ten things you wish you could say to 10 people (don't list names):

1. Your such a pain in the butt why don't you decide how you feel and stick with it stop hurting your family.
2. I wish things could just go back to how they where.
3. Stop depending on me so much it really hard on me and i'm only 19 i shouldn't have to deal with stuff like this.
4. I'm affraid.
5. Back off you don't even know the kid. he is amazing and Loves me.
6. I'm sorry I've treated you so badly. but thankyou for being paitent with me and waiting for me to see the errors of my ways.
7. I'm sorry for all the pain i have caused you someday i will return to you i just can't do it now.
8. I've messed up and i'm just affraid of you following in my footsteps.
9. Yeah I'm dating him so whats the big deal you can deal with it or i'll not deal with you.
10. Some days I'm just not sure if i'm really ready to take that step.

Nine things about yourself:

1. I would never let myself fully believe in a happy ending.
2. I hate the darker side of me.
3. I Love horses
4. I pretend to be big and tough but its all an act.
5. I would rather spend a night with my boyfriend then have a hundred dollars
6. I like making other people happy.
7. I'm affraid of riding horses that are not mine.
8. I don't like sugar anymore
9. I think more about my physical apperance then I used to.

Eight ways to win my heart:

1. Show me respect.
2. Be honest.
3. Care about others.
4. Love me for who I am
5. Help me to be better with out crittism
6. Have a great personality
7. Be Financially Smart
8. Tell me I'm special


Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

1. ........
2. ...
3. Work
4. Friends
5. School
6. Food
7. Money


Six things you wish you never have to do:

1. Get divorced
2. See those I love get divorced
3. Lose people I love
4. Wait for the one I love.
5. Fall off of a strange horse
6. See my horse die


Five turn-offs:

1. Ignorance
2. Cowboys
3. Irresponsibility
4. Tatoo's
5. Long Hair


Four turn-ons:

1. Scruff
2. Love for everything
3. Blue eyes
4. Dark Hair


Three wishes for your future:

1. Parents to be understanding and accepting
2. Find My dog
3. Happily Ever After



Two things you want to do before you die:

1. Forgiveness
2. Help Someone in a uncomprehendable Life changing Event



One possession you could not live without:

1. LOVE

Emptyness

There are many ways in which this word can be taken. I'm going to talk about the ones I feel myself.

So yesterday my sister and I where sitting on an empty bus and it felt so weird to be on a bus that empty. In china a bus that same size would easily have a hundred people on it. So as I was sitting there I felt kinda weird I dunno how to explain it.

There is an emptyness in my life. You may ask what would cause this? Well its the fact that i'm up here in provo and all i do is go to school or run earrands or sit here at home and work. there isn't really any varity in my life. I miss going to the barn and cleaning stalls and interacting with the people and animals there. Ok lets face it I really miss cleaning stalls. People think I'm crazy because I would rather clean stalls then about any other thing for work, but I love it and feel empty when I'm unable to do it.

Most people don't know I have a boy friend unless you have a facebook. He lives in St George while I'm up here going to school. And its really hard to be away from him i feel like a part of my heart was left in St George as it should be that way.

I guess I can't wait to go back home to St George and be with the one I love and care for.